SHIT LIKE THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO ME

Elaine's apartment

2008-09-18T23:04:00.003-04:00

So I'm sitting by myself in Elaine's apartment and I think how about i go check my email. I notice Elaine's blog and think to myself, "I wonder if my blog still exists." Sure enough here it still is outside in cyberspace.

I can't read my previous posts of myself two years younger. I sound like a whining little brat. I hope I've matured with age.

Whats changed in life. On Saturday my brother is getting married. I guess for some people that is a major shift in life. For our family we kind of keep to ourselves anyway so not really a shift in interrelating our lives further. But it shall be a nice party. I went to the church today to watch the wedding rehearsal and I guess that was the first time I thought, "Holy crap my brother is getting married." I guess I'm now excited for the big event. I came home tonight for a dinner with the familia and the imported aunt's and uncles from afar.

One of my last blogs exclaimed that I'm shocked I'm 22, well 24 has come and gone. Yes, I have lived past 18. Life gets better with age.

Perhaps its just better post-education. I'd hate to be one of those people that think their university years were the best time of their life. Yes they were reckless I won't forget that but its kind of nice having some of those years behind you in the finding your place in the world. Don't get me wrong, I mostly know nothing about whats going on but I'm old enough now to not be so scared of it all.

I don't really have anything to write about my life though there's probably plenty but shucks, "I found my old blog!"

random updates

2007-02-27T11:50:00.000-05:00

eli has informed me it has been ages since i updated my blog.

updates to now?
none. perhaps that is why i have nothing to update.

amy's birthday passed recently and she delighted us with a feast at her significant other's home. It was delicious. i enjoyed the little pizza we never thought would turn out, but i think perhaps they were the biggest hit.

i've been mindlessly enjoying my work at td, working too many hours than i should and not doing my course readings. this is what happens when you have essays and not small assignments.

i've also made the conscious decision to having my personal life be non existent till i accomplish some life goals. ie. get grown up job and move away.

i can't wait till the end of summer where i can take a trip.

where should i go. i'd like somewhere warm where i don't have to do any shopping. only taking pictures of me smiling and tanned.

its december

2006-12-10T02:48:00.000-05:00

the first term of my 4th year at york is done.
i can't believe i'm 22, i honestly thought i wouldn't live past 18.

and suprisingly i'm still having the same problems i had when i was 16. i guess nothing really changes.
i've recently suffered my heart being ripped out of my body and placed in front of me as a spectacle. aka. a boy broke my heart. i know your sitting there, like what else is new.

but its new to me. i haven't loved someone since my last serious relationship. and its a very big deal to tell someone you love them.
however, its horrible when they tell you they love you after the thought of losing you and you yelling at them. but meh. at least you know.
love was easy and horrible at 16 and i guess its even worse at 22 because i thought i'd have it all figured out by now.
i clearly have not.
i still fall in love with men that could never possibly love me or even if they did, not in the way that they should.

so for now as always, must go through the period of saying men suck until the next fine thing walks by that catches my attention. i'll sit and concentrate on work. i work so hard and work long hours to avoid my mind. i have no idea how to relax.
i enjoy being consumed.

2006-07-12T16:50:00.000-04:00

it has officially reached the point where i believe i'm invisible.
so one of two dreaded days of the year just passed aka. my b day.
i think b days are a test of how much people love you. which i hate because its never a great result. lol.
especailly when your parents forget your b day. people can't show up to your party and its been a week and you have yet to receive a thoughtful gift that isn't money.
not that i'm being a whiny little brat or anything...
the idea of being thoughtful has totally escaped humanity.

lifehouse

2006-06-16T16:08:00.000-04:00

marisa, myself, and yvonne saw lifehouse on weds. always great to see them. wish i could take them home in a little box.
aka. a cd but i keep losing them!

2006-06-04T20:50:00.000-04:00

its sad when you meet a great man but you don't get to have a fair shot.
back to my regular routine of avoiding the world and instead pouring all my available time out of school and work on reading and doing my work for class.
gosh i need a break.
i want to pick up and leave my slump.
why can't we just skip withdrawal.

2006-04-07T20:41:00.000-04:00

i'm sitting in tel right now and there are three guys sitting beside me. they asked me to watch their stuff while they go smoke a joint. lol.
only at york.

2006-04-03T01:27:00.000-04:00

gosh. i hate when ppl ask if i'm over my ex-bfs.
people that have really been in love understand that you're never going to be completely over them. they pop into your head from time to time but thats not a bad thing! its all about looking back on great past memories.
and i can get very nostaligic sometimes.
and why forget ppl that have had such a profound influence on your life.
i say love em! love all of em! i got a big heart.

2006-03-23T20:14:00.000-05:00

i got something cool.
i want to give it up.
but i have to wait.
i'm really bad at this.

2006-03-20T07:39:00.000-05:00

so today would mark the meanest thing anyone ever said to me: joe told me i wasn't loving.
which makes sense seeing as how i never trusted him because he never let me get too close to him. how can you love someone you can't trust. instead he tells me i laugh things off with humour which is true, when i get nervous i make jokes, but that has nothing to do with not being loving. its a matter of, after more than a year knowing me, its knowing me! if i know you so well and i knew exactly what you would do why didn't you know that about me. but he would never understand that because he never listened to me so he never really got to know me. which is a shame cause everyone knows how hard i worked for him. love is not writing a stupid card a couple of times, love is thinking about that person everyday. but then again you would never know that because you never opened up to me. i had to work hard to get then walk on egg shells to keep you.
well hun. i'm too big and proud to walk on egg shells around any man.
and sorry i'm not too affectionate, but when i am, its the best feeling in the entire world, i guess it takes only a good man to see it and appreciate it.

2006-03-19T01:52:00.000-05:00

so on friday me and amy went to see The Arab-Israeli Cookbook at the Berkeley Theatre. It was pretty good. it didn't make sense of the conflict but it drew lots of distinctions between cultures. it had the funniest old man. i'd recommend just so you could laugh at him the way i did.

2006-03-14T08:05:00.000-05:00

Ha! I've been locked out of the laundry room, and yes, yesterday i decided to do all my work clothes and hang them to dry so I'd have clean clothes for the next couple of weeks. However, the door has been locked, what the fuck you say, I know! What the fuck. So, instead I'm up at 8am drying from my shower and not knowing what I should do. Should I go to work and feel uncomfortable in some clothes I could wear to work but don't like to or go back to bed and go to school earlier and do notes for an up coming exam and essay? Yeah, you already know who's won, I hate working, I'd rather be poor and happy than be at my shitty part-time job. I applied to a bunch of jobs on the weekend, hopefully I'll get some calls.
Things I'm looking forward to this week: the weekend where I can sleep, thats it. So sad. Sleep because I don't have to work or read or feel bad for not hanging with people.

urgh. fuck it.

2006-03-11T17:05:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder about my life as everyone does. Especailly at this age, the early twenty something, not knowing where your life is going. I feel like I have two more years at York so its okay that I don't have everything figured out yet. In a way it makes me feel its okay to be irrational and just act on my instincts.

But in all honesty shouldn't we all act on our instincts. If I didn't I wouldn't be the happy self that I am and I wouldn't take risks. Yes, I'm an extremely rational person when it comes to work and school but people? I'm a horrible people person so instead of being rational and thinking logically about my relationships with people I just go with my instinct. Usually they get me into trouble but then where would I be if I didn't have that drama to wake me up in the morning.

I don't know why I think about the things that I think about. Maybe its all those years of conversations with Marisa about, ya'll know what its about.

Maybe I should be as rational with People as I am about school and work.

Nah.

2006-03-07T14:03:00.000-05:00

holy crap so i haven't posted since december cause i've been a lazy fucker and figure little if anyone updates their blogs anymore. amy? suzie? chris? eli? i guess i haven't really checked your blogs since december either.

anyways, what have i been up to you ask? what have i not been up to! jesus. its been a hectic couple of months since then and i've been through x mas, new years, the guy i unfortunatly had the pleasure of dating, too much vodka, and shaddy places, plus my awesome friends.

and now where am i, sitting in the student centre with a tuna sandwich waiting for my tutorial to start.

thats been my life since mid february. and the work won't stop till april 14th.

in addition, i've had an on again off again cold that had a shot of the flu in the middle.

as always, i'm complaining but still smiling cause shit is never as bad as it seems.

2005-12-21T10:03:00.000-05:00

Your Birthdate: July 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you.
Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first.
You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world.
An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be.

Your strength: Your intuition

Your weakness: You put yourself last

Your power color: Rose

Your power symbol: Cloud

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2005-12-08T13:48:00.000-05:00

man, this week is so boring.

exams are keeping everyone busy which is kind of sucky and god knows i have no patience, i want the holiday season to start so i can see the friends and have a smile.

:)

2005-12-01T11:25:00.000-05:00

my chemical romance tonight.
holler!
i wasn't excited but now i am. love these nights. cause i get to be in my bubble from a bottle of white wine and listen to some good music.

2005-11-29T09:24:00.000-05:00

theres one day of the week i hate the most and thats tuesdays. for the simple fact thats its a bloody long day. i spend 8 hours at work then get my butt home, pick up my car, and go to york for a 3 hour meeting for model UN which in turn results in me driving people home and getting home around 10 30 where i collapse in bed from exhaustion.
well that would be typical but i've been late for everything lately.
skipping the meeting tonight to go to the doctors to pick up a new prescription.
but still going to york afterwards to study for my exam next week.
who knew learning about performances and narratives could be so hard. its as if the most simpliest information has been twisted and made so difficult to understand. how am i suppposed to remember shit about the Chamula. what country is this in? i read an essay on it and still don't know.
i wanna lay on a couch and watch tv in my pj's.

snow!

2005-11-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

today was the first major snow fall for the winter season.
i love snow! these are the following reasons why:
1. snow angels
2. everything is pretty in white
3. when it snows and its not too windy its actually not that cold outside.
4. i like waking up to snow and making love to it. (ew, no. scratch that one)
5. i like licking it.
6. making snowmen
7. consequence of the cold weather: nice lattes and hot chocolates
8. excuse to buy more scarves
9. mmm, bad weather but good snuggling.
10. the holidays are approaching.
11. well, snow is better than rain, right?
12. winter tires, whoo! spending money on life saving measures!
13. i can make a list about why i love snow so much.
14. can't think of anything else, just didn't want to end it on 13 items.

2005-11-22T10:29:00.000-05:00

2 more weeks and school is done (well for a month). oh but what a month.

i need to make my christmas list:
amy
chris
shawna
pindie
marisa
joe
suzie (and her b day gift)
luka
petar
mommy and daddy
mark
marino
nick
evan

now these are people i see on a regular basis, i'm sure others will pop up and i'll freak over not knowing what im going to get them.

2005-11-15T10:09:00.000-05:00

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.

Batman, the Dark Knight

71%

Lara Croft

67%

James Bond, Agent 007

63%

Indiana Jones

46%

Captain Jack Sparrow

46%

The Amazing Spider-Man

46%

Maximus

42%

Neo, the "One"

42%

The Terminator

38%

El Zorro

33%

William Wallace

29%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Nine Inch Nails

2005-11-10T09:05:00.000-05:00

so, the nin's concert is today. i think whats more exciting than going to the concert is seeing joe get all giddy over it. love it.
but i'm excited to see death from above. so i get to be giddy over that.
pictures should be up on my yahoo photo album by the weekend.

so i'm at work and my boss thinks i'm dying cause i keep taking days off work and i'm leaving early today. told him i have a doctors appt. which is kind of true but thats next thursday.
i have to take a bunch of blood tests to check stuff before i switch some medication to make sure i'm healthy enough for it. my only concern is that the new medication i'm going to be put on makes ppl very depressed and suicidal. lol. but my doc says he doesn't think that will be a problem with me. but i dunno. everyone knows i go through my moods. being in school and just dealing with other life things can put me in a bad state sometimes. i dunno. i still haven't agreed to take the meds, still need to do some more research on it.

don't freak out. i'm a healthy girl. theres nothing life threatening wrong with me. lol.

grr.

2005-11-08T10:52:00.000-05:00

after reviewing my transcript online cause god knows i have nothing to do at work, my average has slipped from an A to a B+.
I am not satisfied with this outcome at all.
it was that damned summer course that i never went to. must i be so lazy!

i'm worried about my essay that i handed in last week. i worked hard on it but everytime i work hard on something it never goes in my favour so i'm expecting the worst. same goes with that midterm that i felt i did well on.

grr.

why must i love attempting to be a keener.

okay. back to my UN research. mexico has got some relaxed protocols concerning human trafficking.

in other news: nin concert on thursday, followed by 107 on friday, dinner with nick on saturday, and hopefully that johnny cash movie on sunday (correction: its coming out next week). and i do my homework when?

2005-11-05T03:11:00.000-05:00

so... my jarhead review:
(and yes, i'd see it again)

Welcome to the suck. yeah right! who ever said that in
the film didn't know what he was talking about. if
being in the gulf war meant staring at jake's bare ass
then sign me up! i thank god every day for letting me
be in the core and watch oil drip down his face. in
all honestly, putting his handsome self aside the star
was right about it being a sutle (sp?) film and
fucking fabulous.

2005-11-03T09:49:00.000-05:00

due to someone's illness ( i won't name names *cough* mari *cough* ), i ended up doing a lot more which is awesome of course.
met up with suzie to play catch up at starbucks and to my surprise "cute starbucks guy" was studying there as well. so we giggled like little school girls.
then met up with the boys aka mark and marino to play some poker ( i was third one out ) then went to see saw 2 where i amused myself with my and marks commentary during the movie. so funny. love the boys when they love me.
in other news, mark is throwing a house party on sunday. should i go? i think so. gotta check out who the boys have hooked up with this month to make fun of the hoes.

HALLOWEEN

2005-10-30T21:51:00.000-05:00

so last night me and pindie went to kool haus for the york/u of t halloween bash.
at first i wasn't having fun. people we were supposed to be meeting up came down later than said. and some friends ended up at the wrong club. so we get in and i'm thinking, okay, its only me and her. but thats cool we'll just have to go find some boys to entertain us. but what won the night was of course people's costumes. we met so many nice people by taking pictures randomly with them gushing over costumes. and yes, we love halloween. the vibe was good, the boys were nice and i was with good company. i came with Athena, i met hulk hogan, the predator, punisher, a bunch of work out guys, eggs benedict, willy wonka, etc, left with Athena, and ended up with a pirate.

2005-10-27T00:26:00.000-04:00

so, hate myself today. i'm tired, stressed, which sort of makes me unpleasant to be around cause i start acting like, well, when i get hungry i get moody, and just want no one to talk to me.

sorry kids!

love you all.

stayed at york till about 11 trying to study but realized thats impossible with three friends around me.

gah! midterm on friday.

yeah, i'm stupid, so what ya gonna do about it?

2005-10-25T13:33:00.000-04:00

i do and say lots of stupid things in my life. i love it cause it mixes it up, you know. not the same boring stuff always.

so heres the story.

its a cold and rainy day at york yesterday. i'm walking and chatting with marisa through vari hall and into ross. marisa, "isn't that your friend eitan?" i stop. look. "oh my jesus!" i respond, "he knows cute starbucks guy!" (in first year and still to this day i usually go read at the starbucks at wilson and bathurst and this cute guy used to work there. but he doesn't anymore and i see him randomly at york) so of course i must make an ass out of my self at this point. i call eitan and say, "tell the guy you're walking with that hes cute startbucks guy", i hang up and giggle and in my defense say that boys like it when told such things. why not brighten someones day. he's one of those cute scruffy jewish boys we have around york.

boys are my full time job.

can't wait to see eitan today at our UN meeting and explain myself.
love to make myself laugh.

on another note:
saw 2 comes out this weekend. mmm, like to be scared.

and poo. amy and chris are gone this weekend in st. catherines. who am i going to party with for halloween.
pindie invited me to go with her and sep to guvernment for some halloween stuff on saturday. but i dunno, a club? where i can't drink cause i'd have to drive? poo i say, just poo. i'll see what other ppl are up to. marisa invited me to a comedy club. but i dunno. cats going and shes just fucking depressing to be around.

i predict me being a lazy bum home all weekend doing work.

i'm sure my butt will land somewhere, me and pindie have bought fabric for our costumes. wonder what we'll make of it.

2005-10-18T09:18:00.000-04:00

so instead of finishing some readings i went to joes and watched a movie named Cube while we pigged out on doritos and 7 up. it was about a group of people stuck in a cube and they need to figure out how to get out. its like one big math problem with no food and water.

2005-10-16T23:29:00.000-04:00

so, just came back from elizabethtown.
loved it. two thumbs way up. lets not listen to
anymore toronto star reviews of movies.
lets just make our own.

You know Elizabethtown, don't you? its not about the
town but the people in it. Its about the ones that
care to remember us when we are gone and its about the
ones that care to know us while we are here. the ones
that look at us, really look at us. the ones that
remind us that we would never succeed if we didn't
take risks. or that we should never be satisfied with
being secondary people. the toronto star says it may
pass with its gentle humour and enough of a love story
but the review misses the real point. pain exists, we
take our five minutes and keep walking. cause if it
wasn't this, it'd be something else. this is the road
trip Elizbethtown helps us not to forget.

Jelena Martinovic
Movie Critic

In other completely unrelated news: i got 2 floor tickets to nine inch nails for nov. 10, called joe to surprise him on my find and purchase.
i enjoy seeing people smile.

2005-10-13T00:06:00.000-04:00

well i quit my gym today.

i guess its time to fatten up my ass, we knew it would happen in the end.

not!

i'm joining back up at the Y. its cheaper. thats the only reason.
and i would go to the york gym cause its 10 a year but its far for when the weekends come and i like going late at night, i don't want to do all that driving.
the Y seems reasonable for what a want and how far i want to go.

happy thanksgiving

2005-10-10T23:51:00.000-04:00

me and pindie cooked thanksgiving dinner yesterday for the brats. it was fun.

i also saw carm at 3:30am. i took him home while he told me about his trip to montreal and i fed him some turkey.

boys are the devil.

sup dog

2005-10-04T15:42:00.000-04:00

so what has my little heart and feet been up to lately.

unfortunately my little group of friends was hit hard last week because marino lost his dad. i was very sorry to hear to that. but he appears to be doing well, so... hugs for him!

now to cheer the folks up i also did smile last week because of concert upon concert. i also saw a movie on sunday. i think i may just make that my regular sunday night seeing as how i dropped my politics class realizing i will never make my 8 30 tutorial.

in addition, i love the jews and their holidays.

happy new year shawna!

M.I.A.

2005-09-27T09:27:00.000-04:00

went to the m.i.a. concert last night with the fab 5 plus one (a.k.a. Evan).
no, not my boss but the awesome evan.

awww, carm just messaged me and debated whether i pushed him away or he pushed me away. in the end, the conclusion was that he's not ready for a girlfriend. which he clearly wasn't.

anyways, back to the concert, i enjoyed it more from the very back where i could lean against a wall and drink water. i also sat in a chair behind where they sold t shirts and i didn't realize ppl would quickly assume i was selling the products.

i'm looking forward to the metric concert later on in the week.

2005-09-20T10:28:00.000-04:00

chris's birthday today!

happy birthday chrissy poo!

2005-09-13T12:50:00.000-04:00

so i have a lunch date with josh tomorrow at 12 30 at york while we are both on break.
lol.
don't ask.

2005-09-08T23:55:00.000-04:00

every once and a while we are renewed and we have to live the same pains all over again.

2005-09-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

so i'm single again.
poo.

i've just started going through withdrawal. feeling kind of shitty.

2005-09-05T13:24:00.000-04:00

so what i was supposed to do yesterday didn't happen cause i got some pathetic text message. but i'm not mad that i didn't go to the cne its just that i wanted a courtesy call. i feel like text messaging is a cowardly form of msn. its like not calling someone to avoid speaking to them over the phone maybe to avoid an argument?

so instead i had a great time yesterday. dinner with suzie and some spanish music festival, went downtown to meet up with the fab 3 to walk around, then went to joes with joe, his sis, and his neighbour. i had a good time. joes was actually packed. me and joe were so surprised.

i guess life can be more fun without a boyfriend.
but nah.
i like the boy too much, thought of him all day. hating the fact i couldn't get in touch with him to see whats up and how hes feeling. if you want solitude and wanna be in the woods with your guitar, how bout solitude plus one? i'll come knit, read, and sit there and smile.

:)

2005-09-02T16:33:00.000-04:00

guess what time of year it is kids!? school time!

next week. oh my.

2005-08-31T09:59:00.000-04:00

took the day off work tomorrow so i can sleep in and have the option of staying out late tonight, which ever one suits my fancy.

drove up to waterloo last night with elaine to help her "move". she moved three items. but i had some great tea which was followed by way too much bubble tea. i made a little card castle and crashed it on the way out. drive back was bad with the rain but it was alright, i just had to keep focused on the road the whole time. but i'm alive! good chats with eli as always. love to hear boys try to pick her up by creepy flirty. haha.

carm should be back today from camping. i missed him. i started knitting to fill the carm void for the past few days. i'll knit him an ugly scarf and make him wear it. *evil laugh*

weekends

2005-08-29T10:14:00.000-04:00

hope everyones weekend was well.
friday... spent the night being confused with carm while wandering around north york. i was confused by the information being given to me and then i was pissed for not being able to formulate a response. but then a couple of hours later i was fine being hugged and having been horribly sung to. we walked all the way to lillian then st. agnes.

saturday. dinner with the fab 2 and then saw broken flowers. what the fuck was that movie. it wasn't even a movie. half a movie for gods sake. don't recommend it. though amy recommends the sound track.

sunday. was horribly sick. stayed in bed till 7pm till amy called me to eat. saw a movie with joe, red eye, better then the movie yesterday but still sucked. why won't anyone agree to see brothers grim then i can actually see a good film.

feel like shit this morning. want to crawl back into bed and have a warm body hold me and tell me everything will be ok. not that anything is wrong, just want hugs. and sleep.

2005-08-23T14:30:00.000-04:00

i'm so bored and annoyed at work that i'm plotting my own death.

7 ways to die in the office:
1. fall on a paper clip that has been unwound and the sharp part is pointing up
2. bang head against computer (repeat as necessary)
3. make crank phone calls to azfar (angry client) and dare him to come by
4. stand underneath filing cabinet while top full drawer is open which makes it tip over so the fax machine and printer fall on your head (its been done before)
5. paper cuts (repeat as necessary - see Zandi file (656 pages) for duration)
6. hold on to open wiring located in storage room during rain storm (hope that building hasn't fixed wiring)
7. continue to abuse internet privilage at work, get fired, do not look for job, buy gun, break into building of the job you got fired from, shoot gun into head (upset boss for dirting office)

2005-08-23T10:16:00.000-04:00

oh my jesus. the love of my life is single again and i have no contact with him what so ever. now i'm in a morbid missing him mood where i want to hug him and make him all better.

*slaps self* wake up girl.

sorry, i was just having a relapse.

new york, new york

2005-08-17T18:53:00.000-04:00

i'm back. i'm tired and i'm developing a cold. but i'm super happy.
the first thing i wanted to do when i got back was see carm. *sigh* and thats the first thing i did. well after i showered and ate minus the needed sleep.
we wandered around yonge and bloor while he drooled over used books and we read in a park by a church near jarvis and gerrard.

back to new york:

the food is superb!
the people are so nice, especailly charlie "the pizza guy"
the clubs aren't that great. but i'm sure there are many potential lounges.
i got to do my site seeing and i took lots of pictures.

i would go back but only in cooler weather.

i forgot to post this a couple of days ago. but i don't feel like adding to it so i'm just gonna post it.

2005-08-10T15:48:00.000-04:00

new york tomorrow! ahhhh. so excited.
can't wait to look fab and walk through the streets.

and i went to the jay game on monday. another jays game another boy. lol. lovin baseball.

2005-08-04T15:23:00.000-04:00

i want a back rub

BACKSTREETS BACK

2005-08-03T13:24:00.000-04:00

me, yvonne, and two of her friends went to the backstreet boys concert last night. i forgot how much i love them and how their music makes me feel. *sigh* a little backstreet through rough times is good for the soul.
highlights of the concert:

yes i still love nick carter but brian was so hot!
they had a good mix of slow songs with songs more up beat.
i liked the simple stage setup cause its about the boys not the fireworks which were way too loud. or maybe i thought that cause we had great seats. thanks yvonne!
they sang show me the meaning *tear*, i love that song!!
it was cute how they mixed up some mics in the beginning.
i love concerts where i know the words, its so much more enjoyable.
i hope they come again cause i'll definitely be there if they do.
and though some of them are married, i'd still do them. well, except howie, he so ugly.

pout dating sucks

2005-08-02T11:36:00.000-04:00

so i had a "date" sunday night with a random person named chris. you know how you know within 5 minutes of being with someone that its not going to work, well it was like that. but i was nice and gave him two hours and now i don't know how to tell him i'm not interested. ew. i hate this part.

*pout* my lame attempts at dating sucks.

question: whats wrong with me.

2005-07-28T09:56:00.000-04:00

i sent this in an email to amy like 10 seconds ago:

i had another nick's gf nightmare last night.

i was in the gym of my elementary school and nicks telling me shes coming, so i get up to run, he grabs my leg and i fall to the floor. his friends tell him to let me go. he lets go and i walk around the gym avoiding eye contact with anyone.
i couldn't escape.

random

2005-07-24T11:58:00.000-04:00

random night, but it turned out well.
saw charlie and the chocolate factory yesterday while eating chocolate. mmm. but i left my fave chocolate in the car, hope it doesn't melt.
some random pubs and seven west, good food as always.
saw a racoon in yorkville.
picked up two boys from dublin and gave them a ride back to ryerson. it was past 3 and they asked if the subway was still working. it was so cute, the accent and all so i offered them a ride. pindie chatted it up with them. sweet boys.
ah, randomness is what life is all about.

2005-07-19T14:57:00.000-04:00

sunday night played dave in pool and kicked his butt.
then failed miserably on teams with nick against phil and dave.

and now, i'm done my essay! yes, my only essay for the summer and i waited till the last minute.
aren't i great.

smile :) i'm so chipper.

good, matt good

2005-07-14T13:39:00.000-04:00

so me and amy went to a work function of hers. some charity thing for sick kids at the guvernment. matt good played. what ever happened to him. does he have new stuff coming out.
hes a pretty good singer.

ahhh!!! i have so much work to do for school before tuesday. not looking forward to it.
*pout*

allo

2005-07-11T10:01:00.000-04:00

i survived my birthday. only damage was on hell of a hang over. it was nice to see all the friends under one roof, even the boys. i hugged nick and phil all night in my drunken state cause i've missed them dearly.
i also had my first uncomfortable nick and his gf moment yesterday but i saved myself from it. mark had invited me over for poker, i asked if nicks gf was coming cause i don't want to run into them. mark said no but she came. so he calls me from the other room to inform me before i come over and asks if i still wanted to come over. i don't think nick even knew i was coming. i then declined the invitation and turned back home in my car to call amy and do the whole bitching thing till 1 am. i may have shed a tear or two but nothing like i used to. i survived! i'm proud of myself for not going to bed angry or sad but content that i'm a cool chick.

2005-07-07T09:12:00.000-04:00

nick never called to wish me happy birthday.
ouch.
fuck you, who do you think you are. too good for me. oh please.

2005-07-04T13:45:00.000-04:00

we celebrated marisa's b day on saturday in which i took her and yvonne to buddies. good music and hot men that we can't touch cause they're gay. dammit. so thats where all the hot men went. but today is her real birthday. on saturday this guy jeff that she had a thing with some time ago kept calling. lol. her other friends threw her a suprise party and she didn't know! so funny. she didn't pick up cause she was chillin with us, aka the cool kids.

happy dance

2005-06-30T11:48:00.000-04:00

did well on my political theory exam, i love summer school marks!

i think i'm going to do it again next year, maybe two courses if anything is available.

lets go out and celebrate my brain by killing brain cells with alcohol.

EXAM SCHED. OUT ON THE 6TH

2005-06-29T10:48:00.000-04:00

can't wait for the exam schedule to be out so i can feel comfortable about making new york plans and seeing if my exam is on the same day as the backstreet boys.
and eli saw nick yesterday which means i get a nick update from her. nothing i didn't expect. still with his gf and having lots of sex. eli! too much information. ew. haha. nah, its cool, people have needs. which reminds me, must find someone to satisfy my own. and heard some unexpected things which brought a smile to my face. damn him for being cute.

in love with a stairmaster.

dyed my hair black once again.

good luck on yet another job interview amy, my chinese lover! as amy says, "holla"

sun and pride

2005-06-27T15:30:00.000-04:00

oh my jesus it was hot yesterday and i don't only mean the heat. bring on the trojans if only they had some personality. but we got beads from them.
we were in the pride parade but its weird having people stare at you while your walking down cause we had no pride spirit. the music on the york truck didn't work, boo. but we got some good thai food after so that made up for the hot hot heat.

SHIT LIKE THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO (PART 3)

2005-06-21T11:03:00.000-04:00

so i'm driving to pindie's from chris's artwherk with amy and them two in the car. i make a left but don't notice two people crossing. i stop in front of them and they just stare at me like what the hell you almost hit me. of course i didn't so i just wave them away. literally just wave them off like they are worth less then dirt. lol. anyways, we get into pindie's building and i park below. i put on some necklace that has huge feathers on it. i look funny. so i stand in front of the elevator to go up and i purposely stand right in front so people getting off look at me and my ecentric self. the two people that i almost hit got off the elevator! oh my, i laughed my fucking ass off. i couldn't stop laughing. they walked down the hall and turned around and kept looking at me. i still didn't stop laughing. i think amy is the one that informed me that they were the people i almost hit and just waved them off on their way. good night last night. horrible service at some vietnamese place in china town but good food.

correction

2005-06-17T09:27:00.000-04:00

its actually 8th row as yvonne informed me. i also called her at like 12 30 last night to tell her bsb was singing on jay leno. ah. refreshing.

side note: batman is out!!! whose in to see it wit me! ahhh!

another side note: monday chris is throwing some art work thing, come out and join, starts at 6, i forwarded it around.

AHHH, I'M 15

2005-06-15T14:05:00.000-04:00

so the backstreet boys are coming back to toronto on august 2. ahhh.
and to the awesome yvonne who knows where to go for pre-sale tixs, we have 12th row. 12th row! oh my, cool me off.

JELENA

2005-06-13T16:21:00.000-04:00

besides me there are 13 other Jelena's registered at york as students.
how come i've never met any of them.

MY THIRD COMMENT

2005-06-10T08:57:00.000-04:00

Well i had my third comment in my political theory class. We were discussing if Hobbes view of the sovereign has a connection to the state of nature.

Well...
Hobbes describes the state of nature as confusion and disunity. For him the sovereign is just, and is the only one capable of maintaining order and clarifying its subjects position within the social contract. By maintaining and upholding the social contract the sovereign does not allow its subjects to avert back to the state of nature.

Thats all i said.

I checked my email and my prof emailed me saying i missed tuesday and thursday lecture. lol.
and if i had attended then i would have known that i should have sent him an email sooner regarding not getting a confirmation that he received my assignment.
but its all straightened out. blah.

midterm next week. pout.
and its so bloody hot!

SHIT LIKE THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO ME

2005-06-07T08:47:00.000-04:00

I'm not hurt by Brad. so it didn't work out, its not the end of the world. you move on. i didn't even know him long enough to form some sort of attachment. but doesn't mean i couldn't sleep with him... lol. but that had nothing to do with the not working out... anyways, back to my story.
so we decided to hit a patio yesterday cause it was such a nice day. shawna suggested we go to the owl which is slightly 905 but also near our houses so i was all up for it.
i went to the washroom and someone called my name. so i do a little freak out cause i think its brad! ew. but i go back to see who it was, it was marisas brother. oh my god. it could have been so awkward if it was brad cause 905 is his area. and the owl is a place he would go to.
so we finish eating and amy does the don't look don't look.
and sure enough, hes at the door chatting away on his cell phone. so i die in my seat cause i feel so stupid! but i wanted him to know i was there so he could feel stupid too.
i went to the bar to get change with shawna and walked by his friends but i don't think he saw me. dammit. but whatever. i should not care. and i will run into him anyway cause hes a yorkie. but in september it won't be so bloody awkward anymore.

well i felt super stupid cause i liked the boy and i got so thrown on my ass.

don't you just love my pathetic attempts at dating.
good thing i'm a strong girl or i could be, as ro says, an ice queen.

i always have been slightly anyway.
ha.

FOOD

2005-06-06T08:58:00.000-04:00

So the weekend is over and another week of work begins.

my weekend was full of food and movies.
on friday i saw cinderalla man after i stuffed my face full of pasta and pizza. the movie was really good, i highly recommend watching it. i cried! it was so sad.

saturday, i don't know how it happened but we saw the sisterhood of the travelling pants. its was alright. not the most specail movie. somehow we ended up at some gay scene in parkdale, sketchy.

so the job hunt continues. i got some job but turned it down. and i skipped my ae interview cause i felt like it. hehe.

as the weekend approaches i think remy's on friday and republic on sat. its been so long since i've been to a gino club.
bring it on. ew. haha.

THE PRINCE

2005-06-03T16:06:00.000-04:00

I said my second comment in my political theory class yesterday. and of course i was all looking dreamy eyed at Andreas. i too attracted to cute smart boys who wear cool t shirts. i could eat him up.

so do you believe it is better to be feared or loved as a ruler?

I think its better to be feared then loved as a ruler because fear is controlable through such things as cruelty but the degree to which someone loves you is uncontrollable. firstly, you'd always have to satisfying that persons interests to keep their affection. but fear keeps us in line. its not only fear of the ruler but its fear of the alternative. Fear also unites us and unity brings the state strength which is the greatest virtue of any ruler.

well that was my comment.

next time i'll pretty myself up and sit close to Andreas... and be just as smart as him.

SPIFFY NEW

2005-06-02T09:10:00.000-04:00

getting a new blog is like spring cleaning. or deleting the past two years of your life online.
i've also gone ahead and traded in my kiwipoints that i've been collecting for the past 5 years for an old lifehouse cd. lets just hope it gets delivered.

so why you ask did i delete my blog.
1. it was time to move on
2. boys i've dated know my address, ew.
3. i'm no longer teddy (shes that little 15 year old girl, i aint no girl!)
4. i was in the mood for it. thought of it while i was showering last night and upset over the fact i don't pick the good ones but then i was upset with myself cause some people have it worse.

anyways...

got sushi last night with the best people ever aka amy shawna and chris. good food as always. too bad shawna is leaving for camp this month. you will be missed!
me and amy will eat some avocados for you while your gone. okay.. maybe amy will unless i'm tricked.

SHIT LIKE THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO ME

Elaine's apartment

random updates

its december

lifehouse

snow!

Nine Inch Nails

grr.

HALLOWEEN

yeah, i'm stupid, so what ya gonna do about it?

happy thanksgiving

sup dog

M.I.A.

weekends

new york, new york

BACKSTREETS BACK

*pout* dating sucks

question: whats wrong with me.

random

good, matt good

allo

happy dance

EXAM SCHED. OUT ON THE 6TH

sun and pride

SHIT LIKE THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO (PART 3)

correction

AHHH, I'M 15

JELENA

MY THIRD COMMENT

SHIT LIKE THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO ME

FOOD

THE PRINCE

SPIFFY NEW

pout dating sucks